Do you know how to put yourself first? I always here everyone saying, you have to take of you, or you can’t take carae of others… And lately, I really have been wondering how would I do that? This is how I decided today was the day to make this HAPPEN:
I have sat and watched her many times. This lady who is so beautiful on the inside and out. I’ve watched her take care of her kids as she is shaking in pain, her children’s needs always come first… She lives for her kids. I have watched her scurry to get her house clean and dinner started so that when her husband got home, he would be welcomed with a clean home and hot dinner.
She has stopped by my house just to say hello, or to bring me a gift because she knew I was going thru a hard time. I remember 1 night when I was getting ready to leave for Florida and needed a swimsuit to wear because I was too insecure about my scars to wear the ones I had… It was late when I heard a quite knock on the door, It was her, the Lady I always saw with a big smile on her face,
“Hey, I think you and I are about the same size, and I just bought this, but you can have it for your vacation… ” She said with a big smile on her face.
I thought to myself WHO DOES THAT? She had seen my post on FB and instead of giving me suggestions, she just showed up.
We had talked a few times, were friends on FB, but she took time out to do something for ME, someone she really did not know, just the occasional hi as neighbors sometimes do. She has done many more things like this. It’s just been in the last couple of months we have become great friends. I thought she needed a friend, really, I did. She is like me, and I am like her… I usually have giant walls I put up for people… but for some reason I knew that she needed me to be ALL of me… to share the “vulnerable” me.
Anyway, I went over to her house this morning for our now almost daily 30 minute morning “coffee” break. We talked for an hour, we are always trying to figure out the “why’s” of stuff… Mostly trying to figure out how we can be better Mom’s and Wives… as I left, I said: “You know, we should support each other and do like a “30 days of helping your husband feel better”… or something like that.” She agreed, she is so supportive of my thoughts and ideas.
When I got home, I instantly regretted my suggestion… she is like me… A LOT… and I thought! FUCK That! That is the WORSE advice I could have given her… ..So I googled “31 days of putting yourself first”… nothiing… a few things on how it’s not selfish.. blah blah blah.. BUT NOTHING! And since I won’t take my own advice, but do LOVE to do g
So… I called my friend and apologized! I told her… That was the worse advice ever!
practicallyyelled into the phone: “WE NEED TO DO A 31 days of putting us first!”
Her response: “How do we do that?”
Me: “… UH… I don’t know, I don’t even know if I know how to put me first…”
We talked for a few minutes and come up with a starting point!
- Grab a Notebook, email yourself, use anything that you have handy and will make it easy to make your list. I’m old school and LOVE writing with a pen and paper.
- Start writing down all your favorites! It was hard for me, at first… But once I started it got a little easier…
- If you want, share some of your favorites on this FB post, if you get stuck maybe you will find others favorites that are also yours!
Here is the start of mine…
I will be sharing my list tomorrow night! I would love to see yours! I will also have another “Task” you can do to start putting yourself first! It sounds really hard to me… I don’t like the sound of it… But can it really be a bad thing to take 15 minutes in the morning and enjoy a cup of coffee?