He woke me up: “Mom, I’m all wet and so is my bed.”
My heart started to race, I got scared…In my head, “calm down, this isn’t your childhood, this is theirs.”
Me in a quiet voice, “That’s OK, it was an accident, let’s get you in some dry clothes, and get you back to bed”
I cleaned him up, and started debating in my mind, should I hurry and just change the sheets so he doesn’t know? … Anyone that knows my husband, knows that this is a worry that I don’t need to have. This worry came from my childhood.
I flashed back, to the times that my little brother would pee the bed, Merrill (My biological Father) tormented my baby brother, if he found out he would surely beat him. The odd part was my brother only seemed to have accidents if Merrill happened to be living with us again. I remember nights where my mother would stay up and as quietly as possible would wash and dry the sheets in the middle of the night so he (Merrill) didn’t find out.
I remember how much shame and embarrassment and fear my brother would have, we all felt the fear, the looks we would give each other knowing we had to make sure he didn’t find out, if he did, we would ALL pay…
scary, OK interesting, how our fears from our childhood, can still stop us in our tracks, how they can grab us just like it was yesterday. The best part though, is that we can change the future. I don’t want my children to live in fear. I don’t want them to feel shame over accidents, because they WILL happen, and it may happen more for one child then another.
Back to now, instead of putting on clean sheets, I just took his sheets of his bed and put them down the laundry shoot, and had my son sleep in my bed, I was too tired, and honestly it wasn’t too weird that a child would be in our bed when my husband woke up…
Hubby: “Hey, man, why did you sleep in my bed last night?” Asking my son.
Nik: “I had an accident, and my sheets were wet, so I couldn’t sleep in my bed.”
ME: Deep breathing, waiting, apprehensive….
Hubby: “Ah, I’m sorry buddy, well that will happen sometimes.”
I knew better, I knew that he wouldn’t FREAK OUT! I know that sometimes I will get scared and apprehensive because I am bringing my childhood fears into my present life… but the fear is there, I really don’t think it will ever go away.
But my friends, the way we handled it, is a great example of how to handle a child peeping the bed. I mean that is why they make those plastic covers for mattress, right?
EVERYONE has ACCIDENTS… It happens,
DON’T YELL and BELITTLE them for it.
- Help them get in to dry clothes.
- Clean them up with a washcloth.
- Help them take the sheets off the bed, and get clean sheets or just have them sleep in bed with you, NO ONE wants to sleep on wet sheets!
- Let them know that accidents happen.
We all have the power to make our future better… And honestly, is peeing the bed REALLY that BAD? Nope! Nothing to get beat over.
My children know what to do if they pee the bed, and I don’t want it to sound like it’s no big deal, I mean we do have to change clothes, get cleaned up, change sheets, wash the dirty ones and make the bed again…. Other than that, that is really it. We do however talk about going to the bathroom before bed, maybe not having so much water before bed… Although, we do give them a glass of water by their bed everynight… HMMMM….. Well accidents are going to happen…
Friends a lot of healing can happen by making your child’s life better, you in turn make your life better.
Did you pee the bed as a child?